Whether you’re getting it off your chest, venting, expressing yourself, airing your feelings or “just being honest," the truth about honesty is that honesty is not always the best policy.
What’s more, continuing on the path of full disclosure can actually put a permanent closure on your relationships!
The reality is we don’t need knives or guns to mortally wound those closest to us. Words cut like knives and it’s easy to bury your relationship with the verbal cuts of a “truthful” tongue.
The truth is honesty is often a veiled form of self-indulgence.
What do I mean by self-indulgence?
In a nutshell, when feelings build up, it’s frustrating to “sit” on them. And, of course, it feels damn good to release them. That feel good sensation is a form of gratification. It’s like taking an emotional poop, which provides an instant release of pressure. But when we dump emotional turds on others, we are flushing our relationships down the toilet.
It’s a sad fact that our education at home and in school doesn’t include teaching us how to manage our angry feelings. Since intimate relationships trigger negative feelings, this means most of us are mistreating the people we love most by lashing out and even verbally killing those we supposedly love in various overt and symbolic ways.
In my book Till Death Do Us Part (Unless I Kill You First), soon to be republished by Hay House under the title Kiss Your Fights Goodbye: Dr. Love’s 10 Simple Steps to Cooling Conflict and Rekindling Your Connection, I talk about what I call Fight Traps, which are the dysfunctional ways that humans act out anger. These Traps consist of Open Warfare, such as Name Calling, Character Assassination, Put Downs and Sarcasm, to name but a few, and Secret Warfare, such as Silent Treatment, I Forgot, Recruiting Allies, and so on.
The point here is there’s a continuum of dumping that ranges from outright physical violence on the one end of the spectrum to far subtler forms of aggression—honesty being the subtlest of all forms of assault.
While we may feel temporarily relieved when we shoot off rounds of honesty, we pay a terrible price for this temporary satisfaction, as we harm our relationships and our own self-esteem (you can’t feel proud of yourself when you misbehave).
The good news is you can make the decision to change the way you handle your angry feelings; to consider what you say before you speak, to ask yourself how the other person will feel before you say or do x, y or z. To consider whether what you intend to say or do will be helpful and constructive to the other person and your relationship or not.
It's also important to remember that anger is never the primary emotion. When we become angry, it’s because we feel other more basic and vulnerable feelings such as hurt, sadness and fear.
Making the decision to get beneath the veneer of anger and speak from the most vulnerable part of your emotional core is the ticket. When you honestly speak from this place, you arouse a feeling of empathy rather than antipathy. This one simple shift is your secret to turning conflict into connection by fostering a truly intimate and loving relationship that is based on the right kind of honesty.
Honesty is one of the treasured values of human being. Living life honestly means opening oneself freely and exposing one's true self to others. Honesty is essential because it acts as the glue holding people together. Moreover, honesty helps a person to conquer problems and excel in his life. However, is this always right to tell truth?
First of all, honesty is the foundation upon which a person builds any relationship with his loved ones such as family or friends. By being honest to his loved ones, he will make them feel that they are trustworthy and closed enough for him to totally expose his true self. Thus, they are more assured that he values them and their relationship. The sweetness in the relationship, therefore, is more likely to remain. In contrast, a person will endanger his relationship with others even if he tells lies just for once. For example, a child tells his mother that he will go to the library to study. However, he ends up going to a friend's party and gets caught by his mother. It is understandable that after the incident, the mother will not trust her son as much as before and doubt what he says later. Thus, it may lead to unavoidable misunderstanding and argument. Eventually, the closed relationship might be threatened. Honest produces trust which is needed for a relationship to be sustained. It is inevitably that people have a tendency of relying on an honest person. Imagine who will trust a person who always deprived others of knowing the truth?
In addition, honesty helps a person to conquer problems and excel in life. It is essential for a person to be honest with himself. Only when a person plucks up the courage to face his inner values and emotion, can he get rid of the negative feelings which hold him back and as a result, find the confidence within. The confidence is what he needs in order to handle problems and perform well. Moreover, trust is produced by honesty. Without trust, a person has no credibility which is at the core of being able to influence others and provide strong leadership. It is equally hard for him to seek help from others when needed because others may not believe in whatever he says. In addition, it is said that "what goes around, come around." People that a dishonest person attracts turn out to be very similar to him. Thus, it is perhaps inevitable that the dishonest person may receive someone's dishonest actions or words some day. Therefore, in order to excel in life, it is likely that a person needs friends who trust him and help him to overcome challenges. It can only be achieved by demonstrating honesty to his friends and his fellow counterparts.
However, being brutally honest all of the time can also backfire on a person. There are situations when he inflicts a lot of pain and stress on somebody else by telling the truth. For example, a doctor may not decide to directly tell his patient that the patient suffers from cancer and can live for no longer than three more months. The doctor chooses to keep it a secret because knowing the truth may affect the patient's mental health severely. Therefore, it is comprehensive that a person needs not to be honest all the time. Sometimes, he needs to justify what is the best resolution because not telling the truth, in certain cases, is the best way to protect his loved ones from being hurt.
In conclusion, by living honestly and freely, a person will find that his life is more enriched and meaningful. Honesty helps a person to strengthen his relationship, conquer problems and excel in life. However, a person can choose to not telling the truth in order to protect his loved ones.
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Honesty is the most treasured value in society. Living life honestly means opening oneself and exposing one's true self to others. Honesty is essential because it acts as the glue holding people together. Moreover, honesty helps a person to conquer problems and excel in his life. However, is this always right to tell truth?
Honesty is the foundation upon which a person builds any relationship with his loved ones. . By being honest to his loved ones, he will make them feel that they are trustworthy and close enough for him to totally expose his true self. Thus, they are more assured that he values them and their relationship. The sweetness in the relationship, therefore, is more likely to remain. << Instead say:
In contrast, a person can endanger his whole relationship with a single lie.
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For example, if a child lies to his mother and tells her he will go to the library (but instead goes to a party) and gets caught, he will lose the trust of his mother. It's understandable that after the ordeal, the mother wouldn't trust her son like before and doubt his honesty. This one misunderstanding will lead to many more unavoidable arguments.
Honesty produces trust which is needed for a relationship to be sustained. It is inevitably that people have a tendency of relying on an honest person. Imagine who will trust a person who always deprived others of knowing the truth?
Everything is good, some sentences just sound weird. so many think of reading it out loud or having someone read it out load for you. your more likely to caught those sentences that sound weird.